A Metamorphosis of Bleeding Hearts
by ellyse the silent
Summary: A half daemon boy, haunted by his violent past and mocked by his empty future... When his past comes to destroy his dreams, can Kagome save him before his soul dies inside. Alternate Universe.
1. Perceptions Skewed

Chapter 1: Perceptions Skewed

by: ellyse the silent

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**Notes about warnings:  
A/U: Yes and proud of it!  
Rape/Sexual Violence: Hopefully to be kept at a minimum. Only at the end of Chapter 10 so far. You can avoid it easily and I always warn ahead of time.  
Violence: Inu-Yasha Violence. Fighting/blood/images.  
Sex: No Lemons. Just kissing and heavy breathing.  
Child/Underage Sex: Kagome is underage but like I said its not all out sex. Also warning:child-sexual abuse. (Slight Chapter 10)**

((A/N: Edited and switched around. Thank you Elizabeth Hemingway for making me go back and rereading this chapter with a more critical eye. I like it much better now.))

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**We have lost even this twilight.**

**No one saw us this evening hand in hand**

**while the blue light dropped on the world.**

**-Pablo Neruda**

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(K-pov)

I met him, face to face for the first time, in the library.

Actually the right word for it would be ran into him at the library. I knew his name, every girl in the school did. He was one of the "hottest" guys who graced the halls of Nagasaki High School. He was also the Kendo champion and a world class contender for the highest honours bestowed on Kendo members. He was a loner; every day he would go to the same table in the corner of the lunch room. He walked by himself in the halls, and apart from his large following of girls, no one called out greetings to him. He was Goth, and dangerous- he was beautiful and larger then life all at the same time. He was Inu-Yasha.

I came around a shelf in the science fiction/fantasy section, my arms full of books. He stood there watching me run into him. He didn't move, his body barely registering the fact that a 115 pound girl had just run into it.

"I am so sorry!" I mumbled picking myself off the ground and scrambling for my books.

"Watch where you're going wench," he snapped, but he knelt and helped me gather my books off the floor. His voice was like liquidly chocolate even when he snapped.

He was still wearing his Kendo uniform. His long silver-white hair was beautiful but strange. It was strange to see a boy with white hair and a young face but his eyes, glittering golden-amber, were old. They seemed to veil his mind and at the same time made me feel like we shared a secret. But what was almost frightening was how impossibly deep but old and tired they looked. Eyes that I could drown in if I looked into them long enough.

"What are you staring at? Huh?" He shoved the last of my books into my arms.

"Nothing," I realizing I was staring up into his eyes and looked away over his shoulder at the clock; wait was that the right time?

He shook his head, the black ribbons moving and the silver beads clinking. "Whatever," He snapped and turned around and walked away. I watched his hair sway in time to his gait. He wore a hat; he always wore his hat. At the beginning high school there had been a row about it. His mother had insisted he wear it even though it was against school policy with the dress code. She said it was ethnical and religious in nature and he could never take it off. It wasn't a Jewish fez or a turban or anything like that. It was black and covered the top of his head like a fez but a lot bigger. Down the back, threw his hair, trailed long ribbon-like streamers with silver beads attached.

Glancing at the clock again I ran past him towards the check out lines. It was 9:30 already; I was going to have to walk home, alone, in the dark. I stuffed the last of my books into my yellow backpack and ran out the doors. Mum was going to slaughter me when I got home.

I ran down the street a few blocks, past little shops and two bars. I slowed when I saw a few drunken men near the curb. They were laughing and talking, passing a bottle between them. I stopped for a moment in the shadows, and hoped they would go away. When they didn't I started to run again.

I was just past them when someone grabbed the back of my backpack and hauled me back.

"Hey little girl," a hoarse voice spoke in my ear, foul smelling breath whispered across my cheek. I shivered and tried to pull out of his grasp. He laughed, "Feisty girl." His hand curled around the front of me to start to lift my shirt.

Just when I opened my mouth to scream someone spoke behind us.

"Sod off old man," Someone growled. My assailant and I twisted around to stare. Inu-yasha stood there, bag over his shoulder, glaring at the man behind me. "I'd let go of her if I were you," his voice was still chocolaty but layered with danger like a sheathed sword.

The man sucked in a breath and let go of me, "Sorry young man I didn't-" He started.

"I don't give a crap. Shut up." Inu-Yasha snapped and stepped forward, catching my arm dragging me past there group. "You shouldn't stay in the library so long," he mumbled to me.

"I lost track of time," my voice was hoarse with fear of those men and the realization that Inu-Yasha probably just saved me from getting raped or another fate worse then death.

He hadn't let go of my arm yet, "Yeah well- I might not be there next time."

"I-I guess so," I didn't know what to say.

"Yeah? Just keep your eye on the time from now on."

I nodded, unable to answer, to aware that he still held me close. He kept me there for a few more strides. I looked down at his hand, it was big and his nails were long and painted black. They contrasted weirdly with my pale arm. I could feel the growl in his chest, a low vibration like a purr. I let him drag me along with him. If only my cat purred like him. The gentle hum was soothing to my highly strung nerves. I felt myself relax into his body as he half carried; half dragged me down the street. He was strong, so strong that I couldn't have gotten away from him if I had desired to.

He set me on my feet at the beginning of the residential street and fell into step beside me. I stared up at him. Was this Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde? Never in a million years had I thought that Inu-Yasha would save me from some crazy drunks and then walk me home. Not that I was complaining, the streets were pitch black and I found myself walking closer to him. "Thanks."

"Keh… whatever," he pointedly looked away.

I took the hint and shut up. We walked in silence for a few minutes.

"Where is your house?" He broke the silence.

"The Shrine house at the-"

He took my arm again with out waiting for me to finish. "I know that place."

In mild shock I let him pull me down the street. He didn't have me pressed against him now and I began to wonder if I had imagined the growl. We came to the gate of my home, carved with protective kanji.

He let me go then and leaned closer to the gate posts to inspect them. "Who did these?"

"Ojii-san," I answered moving up to watch him trace a few with his fingers. "He is of a traditional mentality." I grinned. It had long been a joke with my friends about my Ojii-san and his superstitions. Even now, under my school blouse I wore a kanji amulet that meant 'protection'. It seemed to have worked tonight. Kami-sama had sent Inu-Yasha to protect me hadn't he?

Inu-Yasha smiled a sneaky smile, "He missed one." He opened the gate and ushered me inside.

"Which one?" I asked curious about his knowledge of kanji. Most of the Japanese children in this part of the city were third or fourth, even fifth generation; and had very little knowledge of the general Japanese language let alone Chinese kanji.

"Hanyou," He said closing the gate softly.

"Half daemon?" I rolled my eyes, "Don't tell Ojii-san, he doesn't need anymore encouragement."

Inu-Yasha smiled in the darkness, flashing white teeth in the gloom, "Don't worry."

The door opened, spilling golden light across the courtyard. "Kagome?" My mother's voice floated from the door.

"I'm here Okasan," I started towards the door. "Thanks again Shiro." I said, looking back at him.

He shrugged, his white hair was hanging over his shoulder and glowed faintly in the moonlight.

I waved a little self consciously, "See you tomorrow."

He looked surprised for a moment before his usual sullen expression flickered back into place. "Feh…" He mumbled, turning to the gate again.

"Kagome? Who are you talking to? Buyo! Kagome get your cat and get in here! It's almost ten!" My mother called from the door. She sounded upset as I had expected. "Who is that? Is that a boy? You are in big trouble young lady!"

I ignored her in favour of looking for Buyo. "Buyo?" I nosed around in the bushes until I found him curled up between the juniper bush and the fence. "Buyo, honey what are you doing?" I crooned scooping him up in my arms.

"Kagome, did you find Buyo?"

"Yes Okasan," I called back.

"Get in here young lady!"

I sighed, "Yes mother…"

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(I-pov)

Kagome's Okasan sounded angry, my ears picked up every thing they said to each other as I walked away from her house. What she didn't know was that I lived next door to her. They had such a large yard around the Shrine and the back three sides were walled off that I am sure they didn't know that my mother and I lived on the far side of them. I had been caught off guard when she had run into me. I can't say that I knew her well even though we were classmates. That I knew of her would be more truthful.

I am the type of person that would be on the outward fringe (if I was in it at all) of the friendship circle of a girl like her. I am also the type that a Kagome's mother would not appreciate knowing her daughter. I am, however, not the kind of person to stand by while an innocent girl got raped.

Kagome wrote for the school paper, and I enjoyed every article and poem she wrote. That was about all I knew about Kagome Higurashi.

"Yash?" Kaede called from the kitchen as I stepped into the entrance hall.

I kicked off my shoes and walked across the hall. "Yeah Okasan?"

She crossed the kitchen to give me a hug. "You are home late," she murmured kissing my cheek.

"I don't know why you bother worrying," I muttered, tossing my hat on a chair and letting the spell that held my fangs and claws in check waver and die.

"Yasha! Honestly, would I be a good mother if I did not worry?" Kaede stood on tip toes so I could kiss her cheek.

I smiled down at her, "Guess not. What'cha making?" I asked crossing to the counter. An assortment of Japanese and American foods lay cooling on baking racks. "Mmmm… chocolate chip." I bit into a cookie and turned to face her. "My favourite!" I leaned on the counter and watched her cross the room.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," she opened the cupboard and took out a foam cup of instant ramen. "Hungry?"

I nodded, Kaede was the best. She seemed to know just when I needed ramen; my comfort food. It was probably her miko instincts but I didn't ask I just accepted.

She popped it into the microwave and turned to me again. "Did you have a good day?" It was her way of asking why I actually needed ramen.

"Ok… mostly the same." I finished off the cookie and turned to the microwave as it beeped. "I met someone from my class today; at the library." I pulled out the hot cup and closed the microwave door.

"Oh? Who?" Kaede pulled open the oven door and pulled out another tray of cookies. My nose immediately informed me they were oatmeal raisin.

I sat facing her, "Higurashi Kagome."

"The writer of all those good poems?"

"Tadashii."

"Yash… Be careful. She is doing something to you." She turned to look me in the eyes. Yes that was defiantly her inner miko speaking.

I rolled my eyes and opened the cup of ramen, "I am and no she's not!"

((A/N: The quote is from Pablo Neruda's second book: Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Dispair and it is poem number 10. A good poem, though I took the quote a bit out of context and shoved it into my fic. I take no credit for Neruda's beautiful words!

Okasan- mother

Ojii-san- grandfather

Kami-sama- God

-san – honorific like Mr. or Mrs., title of respect

-chan – honorific for a very close friend

Tadashii- Right))


	2. School Removes My Soul

Chapter 2: School Removes My Soul

by: ellyse the silent

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(K-pov)

"Gome!" I heard my name being called behind me.

I turned to find Sango running towards me waving wildly. "Hey Sango." It was Thursday morning and time for school again. My mother had forbidden me to go to the library for longer then an hour today as punishment for yesterday. I wasn't planning on a repeat of last nights bar run in.

"What are you doing so early?" Sango ran up next to me, "I called your house and your Okasan said you had already left."

"Okasan was ready to strangle me again for being late last night so I decided to leave early," we walked side by side into Nagasaki High school's courtyard. It was a nice day, though a little windy. The trees bent in the wind that sped the clouds across the sky.

"How late were you?" Sango asked.

"Around ten," I said waving to Hojo as he walked past.

"Ten?" Sango gasped, "You walked home alone at ten o'clock at night?"

I nodded, watching a boy from Sango's Class D walk up behind her. His hair was dark and pulled back into a small ponytail.

Sango grabbed my arm, "Alone? Ten o'clock! Past the bars!"

I kicked at the ash vault, "Well not really alone…"

Sango's eyes opened wide in rage and anger and for a second I thought he was mad at me. "You hetai!" she whirled around to smack the boy's face. "Get your hands off my butt!"

I giggled at his face, twisted into a slightly apologetic smirk. "Sango my dear-" he started.

"Don't 'Sango my dear me'! I have had enough of your crap," Sango grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the entrance to the school. "What do you mean 'not really alone?'" she asked as if our conversation had never been interrupted.

"Well… I ran into Inu-Yasha at the library and he walked me home," I muttered.

Sango pulled me to a stop again, "Inu-Yasha? The Kendo champion? The Goth? The creepy guy?"

"Yup, that Inu-Yasha."

"Oh Kami-sama!"

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(I-pov)

I ate ramen again for breakfast.

Okasan had gone out to the store early, leaving me alone. I packed my lunch with a bunch of the stuff she had made yesterday. On my way out I wrote a note: "Kendo practice tonight. See you around 7:30. Yash" It was messy and telling her stuff she already knew but it was my way of saying I cared. I try to not make her worry too much.

I grabbed my sword and walked out the door. It was early and I didn't expect to see Kagome walking to school ahead of me. I checked my hat and my spells and let out my breath. Kaede was right; Kagome was doing things to me. Maybe it was the way she looked at me, or maybe it was the fact I felt increasingly isolated without knowing why. Everything was the same as it had always been so why did I feel the aching need. For what, I didn't know.

I was in Class E with Kagome and twenty-eight other students; including two from my kendo club. I walked into the class room looking for her but trying not to 'look' like I was actually looking for anyone. She was by the windows talking to a girl I recognized from the Archery Club. She had long, long black hair pulled up into a high black ponytail and her makeup was a little on the exaggerated end.

I walked to my seat in the back of the room and slumped down. I pulled out my book and stared at Kagome over the top of it. My ears underneath my hat picked up everything they said.

"He just came in 'Gome," Sango whispered.

"I saw," Kagome hissed, I could tell she was embarrassed by the way she made it a point not to look in my direction.

"I can't believe he walked you home!" Sango exclaimed.

"Shhh! Not so loud!" Kagome shushed.

"He can't hear us, he is on the other side of the room," Sango rolled her eyes.

I couldn't help but smirk; if they only knew. I couldn't help but be a little apprehensive about this conversation. I wondered what would happen if Kagome started sharing this around the school.

"Don't tell anybody Sango," Kagome peered around the classroom suspiciously.

Sango look around too, "Why not?"

"Because its-"

"Seats class," Shinri-san walked into the room from the office behind her desk. Sango made a dash for the door. Shinri-san watched her for a second before beginning role call, "Alright; Okami?"

"I," Kouga Okami called from a few desks over. He is in my Kendo Club and even though he is fast he still sucks. He would do better in a karate dojo where they fight with their fists than in a Kendo Dojo where we fight with our minds and swords.

Since the people here are technically citizens of the United States of America, and on their identification cards, drivers' licences and passports our surnames are listed last. In their own circles and in Nagasaki High they use the traditional surname first Japanese way. One other way they hearken back to their roots.

"Shojikina?"

"Present," Hojo called from the front row.

"Taiyo?"

Shippo is in my Kendo Club and one of the most infuriating little brats I have ever met. "Yes Shinri-san?"

Shinri-san smiled at him. Did I mention he is a suck up too? "Higurashi?"

"Here," Kagome said flipping threw her course book apathetically.

"Masuisei?"

Yura paused in combing her hair, "Yeah?"

"Shiro?"

"Here," I mumbled from the last row. I always pay attention until my name is called and then I can zone out.

Today I stared out the window at the road workers who were poking around in a manhole. I wondered what they were doing. Maybe one of the pipes was leaking. I wondered if there were rats down there. Rats made me think of animals I hated: spiders, wolves, rats, cats… and other dogs. I glanced over at Okami who was looking over at Kagome. I felt this indescribable rage, like I wanted to separate his head from his body.

"Shinri-san," my voice came out hoarse.

"Yes Shiro?" She turned to look at me disapprovingly.

"I have to go to the men's room," The first excuse I could think of on short notice. I could already feel my spells wavering.

"Really Shiro, if you must," Shinri-san motioned to the hall pass on the wall next to the door.

I walked quickly in human terms until I was outside the classroom door then I used my demon speed to get to the Kendo Dojo as fast as possible. I made it there before the disguise completely faded. My locker never took so long to open before. As soon as it gave I ripped it open and grabbed my sword out.

I lay on the mat weave floor panting. My body curled around Tetsusiaga. My spells wavered and then came back into focus.

((A/N: I fixed my last chapter so its all good now. And I have 1 reveiw! Yay! BTW: do they even take role call in high school anymore? No matter, they do at Inu and Kag's school.))


	3. An Outlet for My Hidden Frustation

Chapter 3: An Outlet for My Hidden Frustration

by: ellyse the silent

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(K-pov)

I watched Inu-Yasha peal out of the classroom. Wow, he must have had to go bad. I smiled a little and then directed my attention to the teacher who was giving out English assignments.

"Since we have a list of classics that you have the choice of this month I have decided to divide you guys into discussion groups. The three books for this month are as follows: Moby Dick, War of the Worlds and The Phantom of the Opera." Shinri-san said picking up a paper off her desk. "The groups according to what you said yesterday are: The Phantom of the Opera's group includes Higurashi, Shiro, Mikazawa, Sheta and Shojikina. Higurashi?"

"Yes?"

"When Shiro comes back can you grab him?"

"Sure," I answered going to the table by the door Hojo had volunteered for our groups use.

Hojo smiled at me, "I am so excited about this assignment."

"Remember class, today you were to have to read the first two chapters of your chosen book. Please discuss quietly." Shinri-san called out before sitting down at her desk.

Shiro walked in the door and moved to go past me but I caught his sleeve. He turned his impossibly golden eye on me in a glare. I dropped his arm like I had been burned.

"Shiro-san said you're in our group," I mumbled, frozen in his angry gaze.

He nodded and sat down next to me.

Hojo took it upon him self to be our spokesperson. "So what did you think of the first two chapters?"

"I like Raoul," Sheta, a short black haired dancer, said.

Inu-Yasha shifted in his seat, brushing against my arm. I felt stupid reacting to him like this.

Hojo smiled encouragingly at Sheta, "I do to."

"I like Erik," Inu-Yasha said stoically.

"But Raoul was better then Erik!" Sheta maintained.

I sighed, "It depends on how you look at it, he certainly was more stable."

"Mentally," Inu-Yasha growled.

I nodded, glancing at his profile, he was glaring at Hojo.

"Erik has all the best lines," I murmured.

Mikazawa yawned and tapped his book, "This is stupid." He said, running his fingers threw his hair.

"Then you can leave," Inu-Yasha growled.

Mikazawa leaned forward, "Maybe I will!" Mikazawa stood up and walked towards the door.

"Mikazawa?" Shinri-san yelped.

"I need to go to the bathroom," Mikazawa imitated Inu-Yasha's deep voice. Inu-Yasha stood up and wrapped his huge hand around Mikazawa's throat.

"Shiro! Let go of him!" Shinri-san screamed running over to him and pulling on his arm. "Detention! Both of you!"

Inu-Yasha dropped Mikazawa and sat back down.

I stared at Mikazawa, laying on the ground gasping and then Inu-Yasha, who sat glaring at the world in general.

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(I-pov)

I was screwed. Plain and simple… they would call my mom and she would be madder then ever at me. She hated when I got physical with people and she was sure to have extra chores or something for me to do. Even worse however, was the strained look on Kagome's face, like she was afraid that I would suddenly go ballistic and start killing people. This was not my day at all.

The principal wasn't happy that's for sure.

"Shiro, I understand that you got a little physical with Mikazawa today." The principal said, leaning across the desk to look at me.

"Yes," I growled wishing he would just get to the punishment. We both knew what I did.

"Detention I think, this afternoon."

"I have Kendo." I snapped.

The principal frowned, "How about we make a deal Shiro…"

"What?"

"You promise not to do this again and we'll pretend it didn't happen," he said in a conspiring tone.

"Sure. Whatever." I stood and walked out.

((A/N: and the attitude takes over. grin Kinda short butit gives a bit of a normalness to Kagome's life. I couldn't resist putting Phantom of the Opera inhere somewhere!I guess I am going to do one chapter a day for a bit now since I already have the fourth done. I have a several other chapters done but lets hope I can stay a chapter ahead just in case the inspiration stops. Next stop: the Kendo Dojo!))


	4. Preparations for Disaster

Chapter 4: Preparations for Disaster

by: ellyse the silent

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(K-pov)

I felt like a stalker as I sat on a bench outside the Kendo dojo. It wasn't like I didn't have a right to be there, I mean, it was public property. Still I felt uneasy following Inu-Yasha around.

Finally people started coming out of the dojo. I heard Inu-Yasha before I saw him. "Shut up! You don't know anything about my mum!"

Someone answered back in a voice to low for me to hear.

"I'm gonna rip you apart! Son of a-"

"Boys! Inu-Yasha I think you need to go home. Work the punching bag a little, pump some iron… work off this anger energy. Kouga you need some extra laps or something." A male voice sounded; it sounded in charge and authoritative.

"Yeah sure Myouga," Inu-Yasha snarled and shoved his way past another boy out the open door.

I cowered back on the bench, afraid to be seen now.

Inu-Yasha stormed out on the side walk, stuffing gloves into his bag as he seethed on the sidewalk. He was turned half towards me but he seemed more interested in his bag's zipper than the people around him.

Suddenly he looked up, strait into my eyes. Oops, I had been caught staring.

"You, what are you staring at wench?" He snapped. I had caught him off guard.

"You." Kagome! What a smart mouth answer! He's going to kill you! My mind screamed at me the instant the words left my mouth.

He fumbled with his backpack for a second, "Ok, you've looked. Now go be weird somewhere else."

He seemed more flustered by my answer then angry. "Sorry, it's just – we didn't get to talk much yesterday," It was a risk to say that. I didn't know what his reaction was going to be. "And I wanted to thank you again."

He adjusted his backpack and looked up at me, "What do you want to talk about?" He invited as he began to shuffle down the sidewalk. He had a sword in the bag, I noticed, it looked old.

I jumped up and ran to walk next to him. I didn't expect him to let me talk to him. My mind went blank. "Uh… my name is Kagome."

"I knew that."

"How?" I was confused by the fact that I knew who I was.

"You're in my class." He wasn't looking at me.

"Yeah," that made sense, duh Kagome. An awkward pause ensued; "When is the national Kendo meet?"

Inu-Yasha sent me a sideways glance, "We have to go to the city wide meets first. Then we have county meets, then state, then division, then nationals. If some of us are really good they will let us take a Kendo training camp in Japan for free, like a prize within a prize."

"Wow," not only was that the most he had ever said to me all together, but it was the most I had ever heard him freely talk. School assignments and threatening to beat people up didn't count. "That's a lot of meets. How many schools actually have Kendo?"

"Not to many, we mostly compete with people from private dojos. It's not a very popular sport with American people." Inu-Yasha stopped at the cross walk.

"Do you use that sword to fight?" I motioned to his bag.

He put his hand on my arm to guide me across, since I wasn't paying attention to the lights or cars. "Tetsusiaga? No, Tetsusiaga is a real sword."

"You named it?"

Inu-Yasha turned defensive, "Yeah I named it. So what? I'm allowed to name my stuff if I want to."

"Um… yeah… It just surprised me that's all." I mumbled; he had shoved both his hands into the pockets of his black and grey TRIPP pants, which meant he wasn't touching me anymore. I should be glad right? "I guess the sword – Tetsusiaga means a lot to you."

The chains on his pants clinked softly in the silence that stretched between us. "Yeah… sometime I feel like it's all that's holding me together." The last part he said so softly I could almost not make it out. I felt like maybe I wasn't supposed to have heard it so I said nothing.

We were walking through the park now, away from the dojo and the school. The birch trees were just starting to turn yellow. "Can you smell autumn?"

He flinched and turned his head to look at me, "Smell it how?"

I wondered what I had said this time, "I don't know. Just smell the changes in the air. Geez Shiro…" I muttered.

Inu-Yasha flashed a smile.

I looked at him in confusion, wondering what was so funny.

"Kagome!" I heard Sango behind us.

"Uh… bye," Inu-Yasha said, smirking at me as he walked away, disappearing between the trees.

"Kagome!" Sango practically tackled me, "You and Inu-Yasha alone in the park!" She smiled, "Are you going out?"

"No!" I felt my cheeks heat up, "We were just talking about Kendo."

"Oooh just Kendo!" Sango wrapped her arm around my neck. "Time to go shopping!"

"For…?"

Sango bit her lip, "So you haven't heard?"

"Huh," I shook my head, "Heard what?" I ran my fingers through my hair. Inu-Yasha's hair was longer then mine, it looked nicer too.

"Kagome! If you ask a question you should pay attention to the answer." Sango put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot.

"Sorry, I was just thinking," I blushed; caught daydreaming about Inu-Yasha's hair.

"Well there is the autumn school dance tomorrow night."

I could already tell where this was going. "I don't want to go Sango."

"Awww! You party pooper!"

I sighed, she wasn't going to make this easy, "I don't do the dance thing."

"Kagome!" Sango started, "You nev-"

"Sango, you aren't going to let this go are you?"

"No!" She pouted, flipping her black ponytail over her shoulder.

I sighed again, she really wasn't.

"You are getting a new dress for the dance!"

"Sango…"

"You are going! You actually have a shot at one of the hottest guys in school and you want to stay home? Kagome, he is so hot!" Sango dragged me out towards the shopping strip on the other side of the park.

"Sango…"

"Come on! I am treating you that should be incentive enough!" Sango dragged me down the row of shops.

"Where are we going?" I mumbled, resigned.

"Searing!" Sango said gleefully.

I frowned, "That's a Goth store Sango."

"Yeah and the guy you like is Goth… it makes sense." Sango dragged me inside the dark store.

I pulled back, "Sango I don't like him like that!"

Sango didn't pay attention she was to busy looking at the dress racks. "Here!" She pulled out a black dress. It was cute I had to admit, but in a dark calculating way. It didn't have any sleeves and the top looked like a black corset, the skirt looked like it would make it to my knees and it had a red gauzy underskirt. "Go try it on!"

What the heck? She was paying right? I took it and went into the dressing rooms. It defiantly needed a slip between me and the thin black fabric. I stepped out of the dimly lit black dressing rooms and faced Sango. "What do you think?"

"It's so… awesome! We got it on the first try." Sango smiled at me.

"Sango I need a slip," I hissed.

Sango rolled her eyes, "Why?"

"Because I feel naked. I'll pay for the slip if you want but I really need one!"

"Fine," Sango caved and went off to find a slip. She came back with a sleeveless slip and a red leather belt with chains and spikes attached to it.

"Sango! I am not wearing that thing!" I putt my hands up to ward off the belt.

"It's the only sleeveless slip they have," Sango looked at it confused.

I pointed at the belt, "No, that."

"Kagome," Sango pouted, "It would look so cool."

"For a Goth." I snapped.

Sango shrugged and handed me the slip. "See if it fits underneath the dress."

I frowned and took it from her, "Fine!"

((A/N: Short again… nothing much happened really. I didn't much like this chapter. meh! I am trying to decide if I should post Inu-Yasha's past as part of this story or make a prologue using new story format? What do my reviewers think?))


	5. Dancing in a Nightmare

Chapter 5: Dancing in a Nightmare

by: ellyse the silent

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((A/N: I warn you in advance: this chapter is OOC and pretty much awkward. Ok... now you're warned.))

(K-pov)

I hate school parties. They are loud and obnoxious but Sango had talked me into going to this one. At least I talked her out of making me wear that god-awful belt though she still bought for herself.

"Kagome? Sango just called, she is coming to pick you up in fifteen minuets." My Okasan called from outside my door.

"Ok Okasan," I called back.

"I'm taking Souta and Otousan to my sister's house so make sure you have your key," my Okasan opened the door.

"Aunt Tajiya-san?" I guessed, since my mother's other sister lived three hours away.

"Yes."

I was suddenly glad that I was going to the party. I hated going to Kikyo's house with a passion. She had married this really creepy guy, Tajiya Naraku and they had two really creepy daughters named Kagura and Kanna and a son who was never seemed to be around. Their house was full of swords and amulets and incense. I like incense as a general rule, in fact one of my favourite shrine duties is lighting the incense, but the stuff Naraku lit all the time was just sick smelling, foul smoking crap. I didn't know what Naraku did for a living but I guessed it was probably illegal and Kikyo probably helped with a willing heart.

"Ok Okasan," I grabbed my purse and hurried down the stairs. I could hear Sango beeping on the street.

Sango was excited to go to any party; "Get in! Gosh! You take forever!"

"Geez! Sorry!" I mumbled stashing my bag under the front seat, "The party doesn't start for fifteen minutes!"

Sango gunned threw a yellow light, "Gotta pick up my boyfriend."

I rolled my eyes, "Who is it this week?"

Sango shot me a dirty look, "Haha! The same person it was last week smart mouth."

"Kouga is such a player Sango, you should dump him." Sango seemed to have an obsession with players.

Sango slammed on the brakes, "Shut up! We're here."

I fisted my hands on the dashboard, "Sango! How did you ever pass drivers-ed?"

"I was cute." Sango snapped.

I rolled my eyes and hoped that I would live to see the school. "I should have walked."

"Stop grumbling!"

Kouga jumped in the back seat, "Hey baby!"

Sango smiled, "Hey Kouga!"

I rolled my eyes.

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The dance was just a god-awful as I had thought it would be. Sango disappeared with Kouga as soon as we got inside. The volume of the music alone made me wonder if they weren't breaking the law by disrupting the peace, not to mention the profanity and sex charged crap that was flowing out of the speakers was enough to make me blush. The kids had already dumped alcohol into the punch.

After fifteen minutes of watching people make out and dodging drunk guys I had had enough and started towards the door.

"Kagome? Where you goin'?" Sango stumbled towards me, pulling Kouga behind her.

I stared, "Sango are you drunk?"

"Naw!" She laughed.

I looked at Kouga and he shrugged, "She liked the punch."

My mouth dropped open, "You let her?"

"She's more fun drunk," he said as if it was perfectly normal.

I slapped him and he lost his balance. How could he say that? "You are disgusting!" I said each word slowly and carefully as I stood over him.

"What did ya do that for?" Sango yelled. "Don't hurt my boyfriend."

"Sango he said-"

"Get lost 'Gome!" She snapped hugging Kouga to her as she pulled Kouga out the door.

I followed her as she walked down the hall. "Where are you going?"

"Somewhere where losers won't bother us." Sango yelled over her shoulder.

"Sango-"

"Go away!" Sango yelled back at me.

I turned around and ran back to the dance. Some guy grabbed my arm when I came back in.

"Where are you going sweetheart?"

I wrenched my arm out of her hold and practically ran through the dancing couples. How could Sango chose Kouga over me? I felt like I was going to cry or scream or maybe both. The whole night was becoming a nightmare.

"Excuse me!" I shouted over the loud music. The group of people in front of me were doing everything shy of a mass sex orgy on the gym floor. I put my hands over my ears and squeezed around the writhing mass of bodies.

Nearing the back Exit door after fighting my way threw couples grinding and making out, I reached out for the handle only to hit a wall. Except there hadn't been a wall there a moment ago, I thought, stumbling backwards. Looking up I met the golden eyes of Inu-Yasha.

"Sorry," I yelled, trying to get around him to the door and on to freedom.

He was wearing baggy black TRIPP pants with chains and red stuff hanging in loops off them. His suspenders fell in an X and were black with red skulls on them. He had a black pinstripe button-up shirt that was unbuttoned to show a black T-shirt with the words 'Die mortal.' in red, underneath.

"Why are you in such a rush that you had to slam into me, wench?" Inu-Yasha snapped. He wore a perfect mask of snide annoyance that set my teeth on edge

"Look you!" I raged, pointing a finger in his face, "You have no right to talk to me like that! I said I was sorry ok, so who died and made you King of the Bad Asses? Huh? Why don't you take a minute to get that medal pole out of your butt, because I think you've got it wedged up there so far it's poking into your brain."

At this point I realized that everyone had stopped dancing and the DJ had turned off the music and everyone was staring at us. Some of them laughed and some of them whispered but mostly they just stared. I felt my face start to heat up. This night was taking on a surreal quality.

"So- move ok?" I mumbled.

To my surprise he did, opening the door for me and following me outside. The cool night air swept us both as I walked farther out into it. It called to mind the last time we had been outside together at night.

Slamming the door he said, "Is that usually how you greet people?"

I turned around, more embarrassed than angry now. One look at his smug face was enough to bring it all back, "Only overconfident idiots," I snapped.

"Hmm, you still didn't answer my question. Why were you in such a hurry?"

"I'm tired and I want to go home and I hate these parties and… it's none of your business!" I said frantically waving my arms.

"Did you have something to drink?" He meant an alcoholic drink. He lifted my chin up with his hand; I could feel his long black nails against my cheek.

"No," I didn't want to meet his eyes.

The music started up again behind him, loud as before.

"Where do you plan to go? The shrine?" He asked his large warm hand still cupping my face.

I stared at him a moment, "Oh crap! Okasan left to take Souta and Ojii-san to our aunt's house, and my key is in Sango's car!"

"Where's Sango?"

I frowned, "She left with her boyfriend."

He stared at me a moment before letting go of my face and stepping back. "Left, or just walked around?"

"I don't know." I shrugged.

He led me around the gym to the parking lot and I went down the rows of cars looking for Sango's. I thought that having Inu-Yasha following me around a dark parking lot should make me nervous but I kind of felt safer with him there. Sango's car wasn't there. I wanted to throw something. "I guess I'm screwed." I mumbled turning back towards him.

He looked at me, his eyes glowing faintly golden in the dim light. I figured it must be a trick of the light. "You can come to my house." He said softly.

((A/N: Its been like a week… sorry! I was busy and this chapter was a long time in coming. I have a beta reader! Yay petpeeves12! I 3 You! My e-mail won't let me send any e-mails so sorry I haven't e-mailed you. I am working on getting a new one. Thanks for the reviews guys. I am still trying to decide what to do about Inu-Yasha's past… anyone have anymore thoughts? Oh and the way the story is set up now the first one doesn't come until chapter 9. Sooner? I really hate the next chapter right now so I think I am going to have to do some major editing. Speaking of editing I edited chapter 1 so please read and review.))


	6. Learning From Proximity

Chapter 6: Learning From Proximity

by: ellyse the silent

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"You can come to my house."

(K-pov)

There he was again, Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde. I stared. "Your house?"

"Well it's my Okasan's house actually. She'll be there and you can have the guest room and… stuff…" He trailed off.

The side of my mind that was still mad at him for causing me to embarrass myself told me he was not to be trusted. The side of my mind that liked him told me to go for it. After all, his Okasan would be there right?

Well what were my other options? Try calling Sango on her cell. No way in hell I was talking to her right now. Plus she was probably not going to answer anyway. Call my Okasan?

Ha! I could imagine myself trying to explain why Sango had driven off without me. Okasan had never liked Sango much anyway. There was no way I could chance this on her. Go home and hope one of the doors or windows were unlocked?

Ojii-san had an obsession with burglars; there was no way he left that house without double checking every window and door. Go to another friend's house? They were all at the party I had just left and I really didn't think they would be good company right now anyway.

"Your Okasan is really there?" I asked sceptically.

"Yeah, really," He answered.

"Promise?"

He rolled his eyes, "Promise." He led the way back around the school building and out onto the street. We were going down my street I realized. He led me up to a house hidden behind the wall of our property.

"I didn't know there was even a house here." I mumbled as Inu-Yasha fished his keys out of his pocket.

"It has always been here." He pushed open the door. "Okasan?"

"In here Yash," a musical voice called from further back in the house. A petite grey haired woman came around the corner. "You sound like you could use some ramen. Did something bad happen-" she had froze when she had caught sight of me. "Shiro Inu-Yasha Yukio Kalb Gin!"

Inu-Yasha winced beside me. "Did you really have to say them all?"

"Inu-Ya-"

"Hi, I'm Higurashi Kagome." I interrupted her.

The lady smiled a little nervously. "Oh? From the shrine?"

"Yeah that's me," I bit my bottom lip as I made an on the spot decision. "Can I use your phone to call my Okasan?"

"Oh," she relaxed visibly, "Sure Higurashi-san, it's in the kitchen. By the way, I am Heiwa Kaede, Inu-Yasha's mother."

"Nice to meet you." I said trying to smile, look pleasant, and think of a good excuse to tell my Okasan all at the same time.

Inu-Yasha followed us. "Kag- Higurashi-san?"

I felt my stomach do a flip as he quickly corrected his use of my first name. "Yeah?"

"I thought your Okasan went to your aunt's house."

"Tadashii… but you know… I think maybe there is a key somewhere I don't know about… you know…" I picked up the phone and dialled my aunt's number.

"Okasan, can I talk to you for a sec?" Inu-Yasha asked from behind me. I heard them leave the room.

"Mou!" My aunt's voice answered the phone, "What is it?"

"Uh… this is Kagome. Is Okasan there?" I faltered.

"Yeah, I'll get her." The phone made a strange sound as if it was dropped onto a table.

A few moments later my mother snapped, "Kagome?"

"Hi Okasan," I answered.

She didn't even wait for me to finish, "What's wrong? Where are you? How was the party?"

I took a deep breath, "I lost my key. At a friend's. Good." Great, three lies right on top of each other.

"So you want me to come home to get you is that it?" She sounded highly annoyed.

"Well… what-"

She interrupted me, "Can't you stay at your friend's house?"

"Well…" I mumbled.

"Kikyo is taking me out tonight, you know how long it would take me to come back down and get you. You know Otousan can't drive. Kanna and Kagura are coming with us. Not to mention Naraku is working." My Okasan's voice was taking on a whiney tone.

I sighed, "Yeah Okasan, I can stay at my friend's. B-" The dial tone sounded before I could finish my sentence. "-ye" I stared at the phone for a second before slowly letting it drop into the cradle.

Where could I go? Kaede obviously didn't want me here and there was no way I was going to go to go to Sango's house. I blinked my eyes trying not to cry. Maybe I could camp out in the well house.

"Back to the original plan huh?" Inu-Yasha's voice reverberated through me along with the heat that radiated from him. I realized he was standing right behind me.

"Uh… actually I just remembered where we keep a spare key. I'll be going now. Thanks for everything." I mumbled.

His body blocked my path, "You suck at lying."

"Just let me go," I could feel the tears overflow.

He reached out for me and I didn't resist. I was enveloped in a world of heat and comfort. He was strong; I already knew that, and the few times I had seen him at the Kendo meets warming up without his shirt I had been struck by how perfect his body was. He held me now, against his chest, gently.

I could feel the purr come back and spread through my entire body; a low vibration full of comfort. I wrapped my arms around him and cried on his shoulder. The heat that his skin emitted, through his shirt and through mine, was comfortable and relaxing. I let my body go limp.

"I know what its like not to have anywhere to go." He purred into my ear. "Not to have anyone or anything at all."

I stopped crying and just stood there soaking up his understanding in his embrace.

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(I-pov)

I held Kagome close to me. I couldn't believe how soft I was getting. Maybe it was because she reminded me of Kaede with those big eyes and open heart. She had stopped crying and just clung to me. I caught Kaede's eyes over her black head.

She smiled nervously and lifted one eyebrow at my behaviour. Her first thought as to why I was bringing Kagome home was that she had somehow found out I was a Hanyou and was black mailing me or something of the sort.

After she had heard that her friend had gotten drunk and left her at the school she had realized her mistake. She was still right though; Kagome was doing things to me, things I didn't necessarily like.

"Want some ramen?" I asked.

"Ramen?" She pulled back to look up at me. Her face was streaked with black makeup and her eye's were red. She was still very pretty though.

"It's his favourite food." Kaede said from behind her.

Kagome stepped back and I dropped my arms. The moment was gone and she seemed to want to keep it gone. Like an isolated crystal moment in the sea of our relationship, a single snag in a kimono. Gah! Now I was waxing poetic. I shook my head to clear it and went to the ramen cupboard.

"I have to go to the bathroom." she mumbled rubbing her hand across her face.

"I'll get you some clothes." I said pulling out a cup of ramen and looking back at her.

She looked surprised for a moment and then nodded, "Thanks."

"The bathroom is over here." Kaede took her down the hall.

I went up to my room and dug around in my closet until I found what I was looking for. Just touching it sent a warm thrill up my arm. I folded it over my arm and went to go find Kaede.

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(K-pov)

My makeup was a wreck. I didn't care though, all that mattered was getting my body out of this ridicules dress. A knock on the door startled me. "Yes?"

"I have some clothes for you." Kaede's voice called from the other side of the door. I let my dress pool on the floor and walked over to the door in my slip. Kaede stood in the hall, a white and red roll of fabric in her hands

"Thanks Heiwa-san." I said accepting the bundle. She smiled and handed me the bundle and smiled at me, closing the door softly. I could hear her steps retreating down the hall.

I unfolded the roll of clothing; it was a white sheath tunic thingy with no sleeves. It looked like it would drag on the floor once I put it on. It was darted and gathered around my waist so it didn't make me look completely formless. The red thing looked like a haori. I looked at it for a second before realizing it seemed to be giving off warmth.

I let go of it and the feeling was gone. I knelt and held my hands over it but it wasn't radiating heat. I decided it must my imagination like Inu-Yasha purring. I pulled off my slip and pulled the white dress.

For a second I thought that I might have to put my slip back on but I couldn't see through the material at all. I picked up the haori and slipped it over my shoulders. It smelled like Inu-Yasha I realized, maybe that was why I felt enveloped by a heater.

I turned to the mirror and picked up a washcloth to clean my face. That being done I gathered up my slip and dress. I walked out the door and into the kitchen.

Inu-Yasha was eating ramen at the table and Kaede was sitting across him saying something. She stopped when I stepped into the doorway. I could have sworn Inu-Yasha had made a sign with his hand, but he hadn't looked up. I had been silent coming down the hallway.

"Kagome-san," Kaede turned around to look at me. "You look much better."

"Uh… thanks." I smiled. "Are you sure it's not too much trouble for me to stay here?"

Kaede stood up, "I'm sorry you got that impression when you came in. I jumped to a silly conclusion when I saw you two."

I didn't ask what the conclusion was, I had a feeling I didn't want to know. Inu-Yasha looked up and his eyes widened. I had left the haori untied so it swirled around my thighs. It felt weird to be dressed like this but it was also nice.

"Hungry?" She asked.

"Yes, a little," I answered, leaving my clothes by the door.

She moved to the refrigerator. "What is it like to live at a jinja?"

"Work," I muttered thinking of Ojii-san and his endless lists of chores.

Kaede grinned and handed me a plate of fried rice and egg. "I suppose it would be."

"It's really not all its cracked up to be though, I mean like a highway of blessing from Kami-sama just isn't realistic. Thanks," I said accepting the tempting looking plate. "He's not up in tengoku to be an instant wish granter or something." I accepted the chopsticks she offered. "Thanks, and sometimes the thing you want the most, or think you want the most, is deigned." My voice rose and I stabbed at the vehemently air with the chopsticks, "Like when Otousan left us, me and Ojii-san prayed for months that he would come back and be with Okasan like before. It didn't happen." I could feel the tears coming again as I studied the black polished chopsticks in my hand. "Otousan… hijo na Otousan."

Inu-Yasha moved then breaking the spell of anger at the past that hovered around me. It was this emotion packed night, I summarised. I stirred the fried rice around on my plate, suddenly not hungry.

He crushed the foam cup in his hands and dropped it in the garbage before turning to me. "Tired?" His voice flowed over me like warm chocolate.

I nodded, feeling my body sagging in my chair.

He came over and picked me up effortlessly, bridal style. "Relax." He murmured as I stirred against him, trying to get down. My body went limp at his command.

He carried me though the hall and up the stairs. Kaede followed behind him murmuring something that I couldn't hear. Inu-Yasha was purring again. I looked up into his eyes, they were gold, molten moving gold.

"Pretty gold eyes… so… sparkly..." I mumbled as I fell asleep in his arms. The purring didn't stop.

((A/N: Yay! A foreshadowing bit. :-) Thanks to Petpeeves12, my beta reader, who edited this chapter! I hope you enjoy it. Sorry this took so long. Crazy week… I got into my collage I wanted to get into and set up my classes and wow! Everything when crazy. :-) Review!

Japanese key:

Otousan- father

Haori- formal coat

Jinja- shrine

tengoku- heaven

hijo na- heartless))


	7. Like a storm – like a wind

Chapter 7: Like a storm – like a wind

by: ellyse the silent

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(I-pov)

"Inu-Yasha?" Kaede asked, immerging unexpectedly from her room the next morning. I flinched, she caught me. "What **are** you doing?"

I looked around the room looking for an excuse or exit. "Nothing." I was standing in the doorway of the guest room watching Kagome in her peaceful slumber.

Kaede frowned at me, "Lies?"

"Whatever," I snapped. "I was just walking past."

Kaede glared at me. "Right," she mumbled sarcastically.

I looked away, ashamed that I had lied again. How did she always know?

Kaede came up to stand next to me and looked in at Kagome's form, sprawled across the bed. "What is your relationship to her?"

I shook my head and ran my fingers threw my hair. It was too hard to explain and I didn't think I could, even to myself. What were we? Friends? Enemies? I was a daemon and she was a miko. We should be enemies but as long as she didn't know we could exist together. Right? "Okasan, do you ever regret adopting me?" I asked changing the subject.

"Inu-Yasha? What is this all about?" Kaede grabbed my sleeve and turned me back towards her. "Of course I don't regret adopting you!"

I felt guilt for trying to pressure her but I had to know, "Ever? Even when we had to run?"

"Inu-Yasha! I have been your Okasan for twelve years now and I have loved every minute of it," Kaede smiled and kissed my cheek.

"I'm sorry."

Kaede stared up at me. "For?"

I shrugged. How could I put it into words that would explain? Every lie I've told you that you saw right through anyway. Every time I did something stupid and you suffered for it. For all the things I should have done and didn't do. Sorry for all the times I didn't appreciate everything you did for me and the sacrifices you made for me; for the times that you supported me through hell. Oh and I'm sorry you had to love me because no one else would.

"Everything." That about summed it up. "I need a shower."

Kaede caught my sleeve, "Inu-Yasha -"

I ran a clawed hand over my face. "Don't try, please."

"I'm worried…"

"Don't be." I said quietly and walked towards the bathroom.

Shedding my cloths as I walked to the shower, I purposefully waded up my hat and threw it at the wall. It hit the white tiles with a dull thunk, the beads clattering against the ceramic. I let the spells die that held my more noticeable daemon characteristics in check.

How many times had I suffered for who I was?

-----------------------

"**Hi, what's your name?"**

"_Inu-Yasha."_

"**That's a weird name but I guess you can play with us."**

"_Okay."_

"**Is this your ball?"**

"_Yeah."_

"**Can we play with it?"**

"_Sure."_

"**See if you can get it back. Haha! Look at that! He's to slow to get it! Haha!"**

"**Oh my god! Do you see that!"**

"**He has ears on his head!"**

"**Freak freak! Satan's Spawn!"**

"**AHHHHHH!"**

"**Kick him, hit him!"**

"_No I'm not a freak!"_

"**Shut up!"**

"_Ow! My ear!"_

"**Freak!"**

"_No! No I'm not."_

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I slammed my hand against the shower tiles hard, almost hard enough to break them, and stepped into the cold water. I still remembered the angry faces, the girls running away screaming and the scared faces who were just curious enough to stick around to see me, the freak.

Kaede had had to pack up and move us again after that. She never blamed me that time or the time after that. I know she knew that I tortured myself with the incidents already. Grabbing the shampoo off the shelf I washed my hair, bemoaning again the thickness and length that caused me to waste extra time in the shower. I wished I could cut it but my daemon side took it as some sort of insult or something because it always grew back the next morning.

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(K-pov)

I woke up with the thought that I shouldn't be alone… who should be with me? I couldn't remember. Somehow just my being warm and safe was enough of a comfort. I opened my eyes and the first thing that came to mind was: _Inu-Yasha_. He hadn't been in here with me, had he?

I looked around at the guest room. Oh God… I was such an idiot. Why was I here, in Inu-Yasha's house, especially when I barely knew him? I rolled over to edge of the bed. The sun was up and I thought it was probably about nine in the morning. Good thing it was Saturday.

Kaede was sitting at the kitchen table and Inu-Yasha was nowhere to be seen. "Good morning Kagome." I noticed she used my first name easily. I felt at home with her.

"Good morning," I answered shyly, aware of my state of disarray. "Where's Inu-Yasha?"

She smiled at me, "Showering."

"Oh." I looked around and contemplated was to do.

"Do you want an omelette?"

I looked back at Kaede as she stood and crossed to the stove, "Uh well…"

"Don't worry my mom loves to cook," Inu-Yasha said behind me.

I turned to see him leaning against the door putting on his socks. Is hair was wet and some escaped his low ponytail to fall in waving locks framing his face. I swallowed hard. "Okay."

Kaede smiled at her son, "Come give me a kiss Inu."

He passed me and I got a whiff of his hair, it smelled like fruit (which made me smile). Inu-Yasha was huge compared to his mother. He bent to brush his lips against her cheek. Suddenly I felt very alone and left out.

"Come sit down here Kagome." Kaede motioned the spot at the table I had sat at last night. Inu-Yasha sat down next to the seat she indicated and looked up at me expectantly.

I sat down next to him and looked up into his eyes. His eyes were cold and distant and I quickly looked away.

"How did you sleep?" Kaede asked.

I bit my lip, "Good." I remembered having a nightmare, something evil had been trying to get me and Inu-Yasha was fighting some sort of daemon and I was alone. I foggily recalled Inu-Yasha picking me up and holding me, he had been doing the whole purring thing again. It must have been part of the dream.

The phone rang and Inu-Yasha leaned back and reached around my shoulders. "Yeah?" He said curtly into the receiver.

Kaede glared at him and hissed, "Say hello!"

"This is Inu-Yasha." He said, ignoring his mother.

Kaede rolled her eyes and went back to the stove. I caught her eyes and we shared a secret smile.

"Now?" Inu-Yasha sounded highly annoyed. "No. Well that's fine." He paused as if listening, his face screwed up in a scowl. "Yeah, I'll come. Can I at least eat breakfast?"

Kaede put a steaming plate in front of both of us.

"Whatever." He leaned back and slammed the receiver down.

Kaede handed me a fork. "What was that all about?"

I stared down at the square black plate filled with tempting food. I wished my mother prepared breakfast for me and Souta some times.

"A job," He snapped.

Kaede frowned and sat across from him. I felt rather like my presence was keeping them from saying all they wanted to say.

"It's fine." Inu-Yasha seemed to be comforting Kaede almost.

Kaede looked as if she wanted to argue but didn't. "Will you need a lunch?"

Inu-Yasha shook his head, shoving the omelette into his mouth.

I tried to eat some but my throat refused to aid me.

He stood and dumped his dishes in the sink. "I'll be back later." And he was gone. A few moments later the front door slammed and I saw him, through the window, running down the sidewalk, his sword, Tetsusiaga over his shoulder.

"When does your mother get home, Kagome?" Kaede asked quietly.

I blushed, wondering what I was supposed to do now. "Tomorrow night."

Kaede smiled at me, "That gives us some time to get to know each other. My son doesn't have very many friends and I don't often get to meet them."

I stared at her. "Yes… uh… well…"

"First we need to get you in some proper cloths and then we can go out. I have something I want to show you." Kaede stood up. "Finnish up your breakfast while I get you some cloths."

I obediently started on the fluffy omelette, all The while wondering what Kaede had wished to show me. A baby picture of Inu-Yasha naked, perhaps? The thought of Inu-Yasha naked made me blush. Uhg! Perverted!

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((A/N: A sort of cliffy. I am excited for the next chapter… I almost wish someone else was writing this story. :-) Is everything clear so far? I keep forgetting that people don't know all the stuff I do about this story. Kagome always calls her mother Okasan instead of Mama like in the Japanese version of the Anime because I am trying to get a little Japanese feel in here… even though this story is not set in Japan. Review Please!))


	8. Art Illuminates My Soul

Chapter 8: Art Illuminates My Soul

by: ellyse the silent

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"First we need to get you in some proper cloths and then we can go out. I have something I want to show you."

(K-pov)

I ate my breakfast quickly and tossed on the cloths Kaede provided me with. They were hers, and probably expensive judging from the feel of the material. She had brought me a beautiful broomstick skirt, it was sage green and the way it moved around my ankles made me feel graceful. Kaede was smaller then me so the skirt must trail the ground when she walked.

She also gave me a charcoal grey shirt with long sleeves. Against the autumn chill she gave me a tunic-like coat that came almost to my knees and had slits up to my thighs. It was quilted charcoal grey like my shirt with leaves and cherry blossomed embroidered in sage green and soft pink on it.

Kaede smiled, a bit sadly, when she saw me dressed. "Ready?"

"Where are we going?" I asked following her to the door. I glared down at the painful sandals I had worn last night.

Kaede handed me a pair of soft felt boots, and pulled on a pair of her own. "Downtown."

I put on the socks she handed me and pulled on the boots, which were a little big, and tightened the laces. "Uh… ok…"

Kaede grinned at me as she opened the door. "It's a bit of a surprise."

I grinned back and followed her out the door and down to the bus stop. We sat in comfortable silence waiting for the downtown bus.

Once on, we seemed to fly into the downtown arts district that overlooked the ocean. Kaede pulled on the wire and the bus slowed to a stop in front of a fancy little café.

"Come on, we are going to have to walk a couple blocks." Kaede was getting excited at the prospect of getting to the place we were headed. I just wished I knew where that was.

As we travelled deeper into the arts district, entire streets were blocked off for a huge art bizarre. I stared around me, enthralled with the colour the diversity of the tables. I am sure I looked like a child in a candy store. Kaede hurried though the beautiful chaos without a second glance.

We finally made it to an art gallery, the sign that hung over the double glass doors read Gallery of the Innocents. It was an old stone and brick building, maybe a hundred years old, but the old world charm of the carved stone hadn't crumbled yet.

"What is this?" I wondered aloud.

Kaede turned back towards me, eyes alight, breathing hard. "It's an art gallery for amateur artists."

I stared at her. What the heck? Why would we come here?

Kaede smiled at the blank look on my face, "You'll understand in a minute." She flashed a card to the boy at the desk and he waved us through the marble tiled room into a more casual hall. One of the museum workers waved at her as she propelled me through the tastefully decorated rooms lined with art. She waved back at her distractedly.

Suddenly she stopped at the entrance to another room. "Go in." She nodded to the gothic archway.

I walked inside, slowly looking from side to side, feeling as if I was going to my death. The walls were painted black and I tried to remember if I had ever been in a museum that painted its walls black before. Then I understood why they had.

The first canvas I came to was lit by one electric light over it. It looked as if it was from another time period, another world it almost seemed. It was a war. I stared at the scene before me, samurais and their horses lay strewn upon the battle field, outlined in thin black strokes and without much personal detail. The blood that ran from there necks, stomachs and severed limbs was painted with thick red paint.

There was no sign of another army to wreak the bloody havoc that I saw. I stared at it, it was only lines and paint on a canvas but somehow there was something more to it. There was poetry in each brush stroke; beauty and terror, sane madness. It was made more poignant by the dark walls.

I leaned over to read the plaque next to it.

'Death of the Emperor's Army'

'Oil Paint and Ink'

'Yasha Shiro'

Kaede was standing behind me when I looked back at her. "He did this?"

She nodded. "He did all of them." She motioned around the corner to the rest of the display.

I looked back at her and then took a leap of faith.

Canvases lined the walls in the hall like room. They varied in colours but red seemed prevalent in most of them. The painting closest to me was dark and in the foreground there was a tree, with the moon on the far side. The outline was picked out in white and silver.

"The Goshinboku," I whispered as the form registered in my mind. It was the tree in my yard, the God-Tree. The plaque said:

'Goshinboku'

'Watercolour and Oil Paint'

'Yasha Shiro'

Kaede's presences faded as I walked to the next canvas.

Samurais on horses and Japanese foot solders arranged in neat rows facing away from the viewer, banners over head. A dark cloud was coming just over the hill in the distance.

'Waiting'

'Watercolour and Ink'

'Yasha Shiro'

The next was the same scene almost; I realized they must be a pair. The storm cloud was higher in the sky and the rows of solders were not so strait. One samurai sat on his horse in front of the ranks, curved sword raised in the air. His face was shadowed by his helmet and he banners were whipped in a savage wind.

'Unease'

'Watercolour and Ink'

'Yasha Shiro'

Another battle, storm clouds layered over there heads. The Japanese solders fought inhuman monsters. I leaned closer to look at the shapes that tore the men apart; daemons, every one of them. Blood was everywhere. The corpses, horses and banners littered the ground. The three must go together.

'Fighting'

'Watercolour, Ink and Oil Paint'

'Yasha Shiro'

I turned to the next. The rain was falling, water and blood mingled and flowed away. The daemons were no where to be seen. It was sad and yet joyous at the same time. The men were dead but a bit of blue sky showed through the clouds.

'It had Ended'

'Watercolour and Ink'

'Yasha Shiro'

I looked back over the violent paintings. They screamed out of the walls like angry poetry. I stepped backwards and my legs bumped into a bench. I collapsed onto it.

"Kagome?" Kaede sat down next to me.

I looked at her, past her, not really seeing. "He is really good."

Kaede nodded and smiled, pulling me from my daze. "He is."

"Where does he get his ideas?"

Kaede frowned sadly, "His dreams."

I sighed looking over the pictures. "I wish I had such a muse."

Kaede laid her hand on my arm. I turned to look in her eyes. "Kagome, I am not trying to…" She paused as if contemplating words, "distance you from my son but… there are things he has not told you. Things that would…" She took a deep breath and continued, "maybe, confuse you. He isn't bad or dangerous, to you…" the pause frightened me a little, "but he has secrets."

I blinked. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I am warning you, for your own good, he has a past."

I looked away, searching for strength to ask my questions. "You don't like him and me together?" I licked my lips… that hadn't come out the way I had wanted it to.

Kaede blinked and replied hastily, "I like you a lot! I think you are good for my son I am just not sure he will be good for you."

"So it's just a warning?"

Kaede smiled a little. "Just a warning."

"So I don't have to leave your son alone?"

Kaede laughed outright, "I wonder if he would let you, but no you do not have to leave my son alone. I just… want you, both of you, to be happy."

I stood and looked back at her. "I take it you aren't going to tell me Inu-Yasha's secrets."

Kaede shook her head. "No, he forbade me too." My disappointment must have shown on my face because she hurried on, "Besides it is one of those things that would be better from his lips."

I was very curious now, "Will he tell me if I ask?"

Kaede bit her lip before replying, "I do not know."

We walked through the rest of the exhibit. I had a feeling that Kaede had brought me down here only to warn me about Inu-Yasha. With that goal done the mood became lighter. Most of the rest of the pictures were landscapes of what looked like feudal Japan. There were two portraits, one of Kaede and one of another woman who I had never seen before.

"I like your portrait," I said to her as we paused in front of it.

Kaede smiled, "He coned me into posing for it." Her eyes twinkled at the memory.

I grinned back. The more art work I saw the more I wondered at the creator. Inu-Yasha didn't seem the type of person to be interested in the arts and certainly not the type to create such works.

"He is complicated."

I didn't realize I had spoken out loud until Kaede answered, "Yes he is."

We turned to look at the other picture. It was a young Japanese woman with thick black hair and no facial features. Her kimono was spread out around her and she sat on the bank of a river. I stared at the portrait for a few moments before speaking.

"Who is this?"

Kaede sighed, "I have a suspicion but he hasn't told me."

The plaque said:

'Tranquil on the Surface'

'Watercolour and Ink'

'Yasha Shiro'

I looked up and our eyes met. Kaede seemed to be debating whether or not to speak.

"Kagome?"

"What?"

"Please don't hurt him." She smiled weakly, and reached out to touch my shoulder.

I looked her in the eyes. "I won't." I hoped my vow was enough to keep us all safe.

((A/N: So I want to thank Petpeeves12 again! She had some trouble getting this chapter to me so I just want to say thank you! Yay painting:-) I can see Inu-Yasha painting. I have been kinda lazy... sorry this has taken so long!))


	9. Dreams Part 1

Chapter 9: Dreams Part 1

by: ellyse the silent

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**From such a gentle thing, from such a fountain**

**Of all delight, my every pain is born.**

**-Michelangelo**

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_A woman without a face _

_lay on the edge of a river, _

_crying because of the monster _

_that she had birthed._

_In the water her face,_

_her real face _

_was reflected,_

_crying tears of blood. _

_No love, no life _

_was worth all this_

_pain to her. _

_And she hates_

_him. She_

_hates him._

She hates him.

_Him – her son._

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((A/N: Yes this is more of an insert but I couldn't help but put a bit of poetry in because I love it so much. :-) The next chapter isn't poetry I promise.))


	10. Fight to the Light of Pure Minds

Chapter 10: Fight to the Light of Pure Minds

by: ellyse the silent

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((A/N: **Warning!** There is some violent/sexual molestation related dialogue in this chapter. If stuff like that bothers you, just skip the end of the chapter. I don't think it's too bad but I may raise the rating if I put some more in.))

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(K-pov)

Kaede and I were walking back from the bus stop on the corner when I suddenly saw Sango's car in front on my house. I grabbed Kaede and dragged her over behind a bush separating the wall around the shrine from another house's yard. Sango stood on my front porch with my purse in her hand; ringing the doorbell.

"Kago-" Kaede started but I hushed her.

Sango shot a look around the yard and then trotted around the house. Kaede shifted beside me as Sango came back around the house. Kaede left my side and calmly walked out to meet her. I stared after her in concern wondering what she was doing.

"Hello dear, lovely morning isn't it?" Kaede smiled at Sango.

Sango blinked confusedly then she attempted a smile back at her. "I guess."

"What's wrong, dear?" Kaede asked.

Sango looked around quickly before speaking, "Do you live around here?"

Kaede nodded. "Yes, I am Kagome's neighbour. Why?"

Sango looked around again before leaning forward and saying in a lower voice, "I put her purse in the well house. Can you tell her?"

"Yes, I will tell her." Kaede smiled at Sango before turning towards her house and walking away with a wave.

Sango waved half-heartedly back and got into her car.

After Sango left, roaring down the street, Kaede turned to look at me. I walked around the bush and gave her a thumbs up.

"Thanks Kaede!"

She smiled a little and nodded at me. "If you want to come for dinner later… five-thirty maybe, we would love to have you."

I pushed open the gate and looked back at her. "Maybe… Thanks for everything Kaede."

Kaede nodded and turned away, walking back towards her house.

I ran to the well house and found my purse, just inside the door.

.-..-..-..-..-.

The kitchen was dark when I slipped into the house. Feeling almost like a stranger in my own home, I walked through the dark kitchen. Afraid something would jump out at me. The red light on the answering machine was flickering. I walked slowly over to it and pressed the button.

"—_You have … two … new messages—"_ The robotic sounding man said. "—_First message_—"

--BEEP--

"Kagome? This is your mother. I have been calling your cell phone! Where are you? Call me back right now!" I shivered from the anger radiating of the message but then I shrugged it off; she could wait.

--BEEP--

"—Second message—"

"'Gome… this is Sango." The slurred voice giggled a little. "We're here and… where are you?" Sango hiccupped. "You and Inu-Yasha didn't… Oh my god! You didn't hook up did ya?"

I pressed the delete button angrily and turned away from the phone. The fridge was almost empty and the dim light from the open door cast weird shadows behind me. Disinterested in really finding something to eat, I closed the refrigerator and walked to the stairs. I felt depressed. How could Sango have done this to me? In a fit of anger I grabbed for the phone and pounded in Sango's number.

"Moshi-moshi," Sango answered her mobile phone.

"Sango, you left me at the party, alone! And without my keys! This calls for a major bitch-slap!" I seethed. I loved staying with Kaede and Inu-Yasha but my betrayal ran deep. "I can't believe you got drunk and ditched me!"

"Kag-"

"And you have the audacity to call my house and leave a drunken massage asking where I was!" I wasn't done but she interrupted.

"Kagome! I'm so sorry!"

There was a short pause and I took a deep breath. "Yeah me too. I need a little time Sango, please."

She sounded like she was crying, "Take all the time you need. You are my best friend; I need you to be my best friend!"

"I'll talk to you later, Sango."

"I am so sorry!"

"Bye." And I hung up and tossed the phone on the floor.

I felt like a heartless bitch, but I really needed the space. Pulling out a notebook I grabbed a black pen and started scribbling away. A few minutes later I looked down at my paper rereading what I had thrown there.

_no one knows what I need_

_no one should have to deal with me_

_I can't contain my sadness_

_I have no anger-_

_only madness ._

_.crazy turnings of my life_

I tossed the notebook on my bed, disgusted with my feeble attempt at poetry. The phone rang, startling me and making me jump. I picked it up and looked at it dubiously for a moment before hitting the talk button.

"Hello?" I answered cautiously.

"Hi Kagome." It was Kaede.

I wondered what this was about. "Oh… hey Kaede."

"Have you decided about dinner yet?"

Oh yes… Duh Kagome. "Yeah. I'd love to but I am kinda tired and I have some stuff I need to do before my Okasan gets home." I felt bad for brushing her off but I wasn't sure I wanted to see Inu-Yasha again so soon. I needed some time to figure out how I felt about him.

"Oh that's ok Kagome. We will have you over another time." She didn't sound put off.

"Thanks again for everything Kaede."

"You are very welcome."

"Thank Inu-Yasha for taking me home with him for me please," I murmured.

"Of course."

"Thanks. Bye."

"Bye."

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(I-pov)

When I got home it was dinnertime and Kagome wasn't there. Kaede was reading the newsletter from the Gallery of the Innocents while stirring a pot that simmered on the stove. The house seemed cold and silent without Kagome in it.

"Inu-Yasha?" Kaede looked up at me as I slunk into the kitchen.

"Keh…" I grunted and collapsed in the chair Kagome had sat in hours before.

She glanced at me before looking back at the paper. "They are having a contest for painters. You should enter."

"And what?" I snapped.

Kaede ignored my tone and continued, "Art is what you love. Why should you not do what you love?"

"Get famous, get caught and get killed?" I growled. I wasn't in the mood for this. "No thanks."

"Inu-Yasha!"

"It's true… " I stood and stalked to the door.

Kaede looked after me, "Where are you going?"

"To kill my punching bag."

.-..-..-..-.

I beat the bag in the basement Kaede and I had made into a workout room with the money from my first championship. It was like my sanctuary away from my messed up existence. My messed us existence that included _**him**… **His**_ face appeared in front of me and I hammered the bag harder, remembering his voice and, oh God, his touch…

-----------------------

"**What do you want Inû shit?"**

"N-n-nothing."

"**What do you want me to do to you?**

_What to say? What they made me say. _"H-hurt me." _My tongue felt leaden as I whispered the words of my doom. I hate this._

"**That's right."**

_I am dieing inside my mind. I can't escape you._

"**Why do you want me to hurt you?"**

_I am killing you inside my mind._ "B-because I…" The last word is a whisper of pain and nothingness. "L-l-like it."

"**You like it?" **He grinned maliciously, obviously relishing my reluctance.

_Just do it so I can be alone. Just finish so I can die._

"**Take off your cloths Inû shit."**

_Why do I do what you say? Why I am letting you take my life away?_

"**Come here."**

_I HATE YOU!_

"**Put your hands here so I can tie them. Good."**

_I close my eyes and wish you away but… you are still here – touching me._

"**You're beautiful Inû." **

_Don't say that. I think I will die if you say that again. Stop looking at me!_

"**Are you ready?"**

_You won't start until I tell you I am ready. Why? _"R-r-ready." _And you __beat me – numb; and broken into shards. Whipping my back until it is nothing, but the colour of blood. My mirror image is filled with nothing, but blackness. My eyes see nothing but white pain, my ears hear nothing but pain__. All I can smell is coppery Blood, running down the pieces of broken bodies: mine is among them._

"**I like it when you scream."**

_And I do scream. Again – again – again – until my throat is raw from screaming._

_When the night_

_calls my name_

_fading into_

_endless hell -_

_and following,_

_my body born_

_into everlasting_

_death._

_Is my soul flying_

_on black angels wings?_

_I don't wake from the darkness of unconsciousness for hours. When I do I am still tied to the rack, naked and cold, but alone! So wonderfully alone._

-----------------------

I stopped beating the bag only when it split in half, strewing granules all over the floor. I didn't realize I had been crying until I reached up to brush my hair back and found my face was wet.

"Oh God!" I groaned out loud collapsing into a heap among the ruins of my punching bag. Why did this have to be me? This… disgusting child in my mind.

((A/N: That wasn't **too** bad I don't think. :-) Maybe I will up the rating anyway… I was depressed when I wrote most of this and it took a rather dark turn. I don't think I will bring this out to often. And again… I hope it didn't offend. Please review! I meant to get this up Sunday but my computer was being a load of crap. Special thank you to petpeeves12 who edit this chapt. for me and enders game who has reviewed all my stories:-)))


	11. School Removes My Will

Chapter 11: School Removes My Will

by: ellyse the silent

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(K-pov)

I walked to school slowly that Monday morning. My mind was filled with confusing thoughts: most of them centred on Inu-Yasha. I wondered vaguely if he would talk to me at school.

The classroom was a buzz with the talk about the party. I heard Hojo talking with Eri.

"I heard that the police came. Is that true?" Hojo asked. Being a good mama's boy he hadn't gone to the wild party. He was a very good boy I guess. I doubt he'd ever do anything so wild as go to a dance.

Eri grinned, "Yup, they broke it up and got a few kids names."

Hojo's eyes got huge. "What kids?"

"Kids who were bringing in beer." She grinned wider if that was even possible. She seemed way too excited about that.

I tuned them out and stared out the window. My stomach growled loudly, protesting that I had skipped breakfast. Someone came up and stood just behind me at my shoulder. I thought for a moment that it was Sango, but then the person cleared their throat. Male. I looked back over my shoulder. Inu-Yasha stood looking down at me.

I almost fell out of my seat in my haste to stand up. "Inu-Yasha! Uh… I mean Shiro-kun…" I could feel my cheeks getting hot. "Hi!"

One side of his mouth curved upwards. "Hi."

He held out a plastic bag to me. I stared at it for a moment before taking it.

"Your clothes." He said in a low voice so the other people around us wouldn't hear. I blushed a little.

"Oh…" I thought of Kaede's clothes, wadded up on my floor where I had thrown them last night.

"Okasan, says to keep the clothes she gave you."

"But I couldn't!" I protested thinking of the rich materials and how much they must have cost.

He shrugged, "I just deliver the messages."

My stomach spoke up just then and he looked at me for a long moment before handing me another bag. It was a smaller ordinary looking brown paper bag, but looks could deceive.

"What's this?"

Inu-Yasha shrugged again. "I told you, I just deliver the messages." He did a little grin.

I opened my mouth to press him for answers but the teacher, Shinri-san, came in. Everyone hurried to get into their seats. I stuffed both bags underneath my desk and straightened as she began role call.

"Okami?"

There was no answer from the empty seat. The teacher simply moved on to the next name on her list but the class looked at each other and started whispering about alcohol and school parties. I didn't care if Kouga ever came back to school… the bastard!

"Shojikina?"

"Here," Hojo called from the front row.

"Taiyo?"

"Present, Shinri-san."

Shinri-san smiled at him and then her eyes searched out my desk. "Higurashi?"

"Yes." I answered.

"Masuisei?"

Yura glared at the teacher and shifted her red comb to her other hand. "Here."

"Shiro?"

"Yeah."

I turned to look back at him, in the last row. He was leaning on the desk, his head balanced on one hand so his hair fell forward over his shoulder. The whiteness of it was shocking against the black T-shirt he was wearing. He shifted a little in his seat and the loops of chains attached to his black pants scraped again the metal of the desk. He wasn't wearing the dress code again. His blatant rebellion looked out of place among the neat students in their olive green and white uniforms. He usually didn't bother with the uniform if he was leaving early for Kendo practice.

His eyes flicked over the class and then met mine, resting there. How could someone have such bright golden-amber eyes? He had to be wearing contacts. It was a strange colour choice for a Goth. Rather too bright and cheery… and yet on Inu-Yasha the colour was almost brooding.

Inu-Yasha didn't break the eye contact and we sat there staring at each other; me, unable to look away and him, not releasing me from his golden gaze.

It was strange to see Inu-Yasha looking at me without even a hint of a glare. His were the eyes of someone who had seen too much. A person who had been through too much and who had yet to go through a fire that was to come. His gaze cradled me and held me up and away from the hidden secrets inside.

Secrets… the secrets that Kaede had warned me about. My thoughts were interrupted by Shinri-san.

"Book discussion, class. Get in your groups."

Inu-Yasha blinked and released me. I stood up slowly, suddenly drained of energy. The people in The Phantom of the Opera group moved to the place we had our rather violent discussion last class period.

"I hope you all completed the assignment and read the next three chapters." Shinri-san said rather menacingly from the front of the classroom.

Hojo started asking the questions again. "What did you think of the chapters?"

"Raoul is a stupid flop." Inu-Yasha pointedly glared at Hojo.

Hojo didn't seem to notice. "Well… I like Raoul…"

"Why don't we study something Japanese?" Mikazawa was determined to be as much of an asshole as he possibly could.

"Maybe Erik was Japanese." Sheta offered.

Mikazawa scoffed, "That's the dumbest thing I ever heard!"

"You obviously don't listen to yourself." Inu-Yasha snarled.

"I have to listen to you, which is worse." Mikazawa shouted. InuYasha looked at him blandly.

"Mikazawa!" Shinri-san came running over to our group in the hopes of stalling any physical violence between the two. "Both of you to the principal!"

"For what?" Mikazawa asked.

"You for disrupting the class and Shiro for disregarding the dress code… again!" Shinri-san's face was turning red with anger. I hoped the vein pulsing in her forehead didn't explode. Although… it did look kind of funny.

Inu-Yasha stood up and walked out of the class without a backwards glance, but Mikazawa stayed and fought for his case. Mikazawa looked rather like a rabbit that had taken a wrong turn and finds itself backed into a corner.

"You're just an egotistic maniac who wants to shove the children of this generation into little moulds!" He practically screamed in her face.

"Jeez! What has he been smoking?" Some one behind me whispered.

"What is this? Are going to start spouting pro-idiot agenda in our curriculum?" He was gaining momentum. "I think you have a thing with being dumb. You want all the kids in your classroom – no! – in the whole world to be as stupid as you! I bet you even conspire—"

He would have gone on but Inu-Yasha walked back in and dragged him out of the classroom. We could hear him yelling for a few more moments and then there was silence.

"Maybe Shiro-kun killed him." Someone said hopefully. There were scattered giggles and scoffs over the room.

"I didn't know he was so unstable." Eri whispered to Yura.

"Shinri-san?" I raised my hand.

"Higurashi?"

I swallowed, "I don't feel to good… can I go to the nurse?"

Shinri-san nodded to the hall pass on the wall and turned back to the class to try and keep order. I shoved the bags Inu-Yasha had given me into my backpack before racing out the door.

I slowed at the stairs, determined to make my freedom last as long as possible. When I got to my locker I pulled out the paper bag Inu-Yasha had given me and opened it slowly. There was a white piece of paper and… cookies? Yum! Oatmeal cookies, my favourite! I finished shoving my backpack into my locker and shut the door before opening the note. The handwriting was elegant and looked like it had been written with a brush and ink.

_Dear Kagome,_

_Here are your clothes. I wanted to wash them for you before returning them. Parties can be messy places. I want you to keep the clothes I gave you. They were my sister's but she is dead to me now. You remind me of her and they are so beautiful on you._

_Regards,_

_Heiwa Kaede _

One phrase jumped out at me: "…but she is dead to me now." Now? Slip of the pen? Not important? Something deep inside me whispered, 'M_ore secrets._'

I pulled a cookie out of the bag and stuffed it in my mouth as I walked towards the nurse's office wondering what BS I could use to pretend I was sick. Maybe I cauld sat I had a stomach ache… As I neared the office I heard angry voices arguing back and forth. One sounded like Inu-Yasha.

"You should go jump off a sky scraper!" Mikazawa's voice grated on my ears.

"You should go stick your head in the toilet and flush it a few times." Inu-Yasha snapped back.

I pushed the door open slowly and walked into the office. They both went silent and looked up at me: Mikazawa with dislike and Inu-Yasha with no emotion on his face. I realized I was clutching the bag with white knuckled hands.

"What are you staring at?" Mikazawa shot at me. I was rather surprised that he didn't tack on a derogatory name.

"Nothing." I mumbled and walked past them and the hideous orange plastic chairs left over from the 80's that were set up invitingly for the delinquents that got sent to the principal. "Hi?" I approached the lady at the desk cautiously.

"What?" She snapped; glaring over her severe wire rimmed glasses.

I swallowed and found my throat was dry. "I don't feel well."

"Test today?" She smirked at me.

"No."

"I'll let the nurse know when she comes back from her bathroom break."

"Thanks."

But she had already turned back to her computer. I saw The Adventure Quest login screen before I turned away. So this was what secretaries did in their spare time? What a lazy butt.

The principal burst in from the hallway and stopped short when he caught sight of the two boys. A look of disgust came over his face, then annoyance with hints of anger.

"You two again?" They didn't reply. Inu-Yasha didn't even look up. The principal caught sight of me then. "Higurashi? Not you, too?"

"No sir, I am here to see the nurse." I replied.

He sighed in relief. "At least my honour students haven't started brawling. Come on Mikazawa. I only have time for one of you before my meeting."

Mikazawa stood up and shot a look of hatred at Inu-Yasha. "See you in detention pretty boy."

Inu-Yasha didn't even look up. His broad shoulders were stiff and his back was straight betraying his anger. After the principal disappeared into his office I walked over to Inu-Yasha timidly.

"Hi." I said brightly hoping to get a reaction or recognition… anything!

"Hi." He answered in a monotone voice.

"Can I sit here?" I motioned to the seat next to him. He shrugged so I sat down rather quickly, a little afraid he would change his mind.

"I am glad I didn't have much homework this weekend." I tried to strike up a conversation. He didn't answer.

"Your mom's cookies are really good." He wasn't even looking at me. I was getting desperate!

"Shiro-kun?" He looked into my eyes for a second before finding something over my head more interesting. I frowned at him. "It's like I am talking to myself."

"Ok," his eyes bored into mine with a challenge. "Fine. Ask me something."

"Uhm…" I grasped for a good question. Wait… he was an artist right? Colours are important to artists. "What's your favourite colour?"

I half expected him to make a jibe that it was a stupid question, but suddenly he went very still and looked off over my shoulder with a hot amber stare.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

(I-pov)

"Shiro-kun?" Kagome was staring at me, a worried expression on her face, waiting for an answer to her question. Can I tell you? Would you understand?

_I painted a picture _

_full of red._

_Red like blood; _

_red like the sunset _

_splintering shards _

_of light across the lake._

_I painted a rose_

_in the cool morning air, _

_made more crimson_

_and alive by the imperfections_

_that make it perfect._

_I painted an old woman_

_wearing a red kimono_

_for her funeral;_

_her last kimono-_

_silk- the richest fabric_

_she has ever worn._

_I painted a fire_

_all consuming _

_burning my soul _

_in a fury of light._

_Red is my friend _

_and my enemy_

_my muse _

_and my haunting demon._

_Red is beautiful._

_And sometimes red scares me._

"Red." I finally answered just the nurse came in.

((A/N: Adventure Quest and Battle on aren't mine… you didn't think so? I knew you wouldn't fall for that!

Ok we will make a deal. 100 reviews by chapter 20. That's just five reviews a chapter right? Not too hard. I should have 55 then now… uhm… someone should review.))


	12. Dreams Part 2

Chapter 12: Dreams Part 2

by: ellyse the silent

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

**I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain. -James Baldwin**

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_When I was little I learned what hate was by listening to my parents hate each other. And sometimes there was blood. Red scarlet blood. But I ran away and hid in my closets before I could learn about love_.

-.-.-

_Once a handsome daemon took a woman of mortal flesh and they loved each other. They were beautiful … flesh and bone._

-.-.-

_Begging for happiness…  
a little boy with long white hair  
runs through a meadow.  
His mother follows slowly.  
He is running …  
happy!  
Chasing a butterfly …  
beautiful!  
But suddenly  
there are people all around him.  
Children …  
ugly!  
Hateful children.  
Demon Children.  
Angry disgusting children.  
He screams as they beat him.  
They make him strong  
with every blow they give him.  
They tear the happy dreams away from him.  
His life is only a façade  
and he is deserted by his happy little world.  
He is no fool._

-.-.-

_Once a hideous daemon took a mortal whore and they hated each other. Their world was full of darkness and horror._


	13. Child in Mystic Sun

Chapter 13: Child in Mystic Sun

by: ellyse the silent

**Love is good  
and love is kind  
love is drunk  
love is blind  
love is good  
and love is mine  
love is wrong all the time.**

**-Smashing Pumpkins**

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Monday

(K-pov)

I walked home alone after school. I hadn't looked for Sango though I had seen her a few times. Inu-Yasha was gone when I came out of the nurse's office and the loneliness of having nobody to talk to was setting in. Should I go look for him? Should I call her? She might still want to be my friend.

As I rounded the corner to go down to the library which was past the Kendo Dojo, I saw Inu-Yasha and two of the other kendo students. They looked angry, pushing his shoulders (though he didn't move, or even flinch). He just stood there listening to them say whatever it was they were yelling in his face with a bland expression. I hung back in the shadows of the building I had just come around, watching silently.

Finally the two seemed to have said their piece and stalked off, in the opposite direction of the library. Inu-Yasha didn't move for a moment but then he turned and looked at me.

I ran across the street towards him. "Hi."

"Hi," he replied softly.

"Are your friends mad at you?" I asked turning to watch the two other boys walk away.

"What friends?" His voice, always so chocolaty, swept over me.

"Those boys I saw you talking with, aren't they your friends?" I nodded towards the disappearing boys. When he turned to walk away I followed, walking beside him.

He shook his head, his white hair swinging back and forth. "I don't have any friends." He didn't sound happy, he sounded accepting and a little lonely.

"None?" I couldn't believe it.

"They are from Kendo Club," He slanted his golden eyes in my direction.

"Which is relevant… how?" I had to trot to keep up with Inu's long legged strides. He looked back at me and immediately slowed down.

"Thanks," I said, making a vague motion with my hand, "You walk fast."

His lips curved up a little, something close to a smile. "Want to get something to eat?"

My eyes widened, was he actually asking me to hang out with him? "Sure, where do you want to go?"

"I know a good spot over a few streets," He shot another look at me. "Will your mom be ok with you and me… you know…"

I shrugged, "I go out with my friends after school all the time." I watched him, wondering if he would react the being called my friend.

His expression didn't change though I couldn't see his eyes. "Oh… come on then," he said.

I wondered after all the time we had spent together last Saturday if he was suddenly going to pretend that it didn't matter. He kept avoiding my eyes and I wondered what it meant. I wanted to be his friend; I wanted it so badly I was shocked at myself.

There was that weird instinct feeling again… I swallowed hard and tried not to look at Inu-Yasha's face. I wished he would talk to me. He led me down a little side street to a little tea house nestled between a dojo and a clothing store. The sign was in Japanese and said: The Way of Seven Pillars.

"My treat," He rumbled as he pushed the door open and held it for me. The interior was dim and there was no restaurant filler music only the sound of water gently falling over rocks.

As soon as we stepped inside a petite woman in a kimono came running up to us. "Table for two, yes?"

"Hai." Inu-Yasha nodded and motioned for me to come stand next to him. When I stepped to his side he wrapped one of his huge hands around my elbow and propelled me after the lady. My body lit on fire, starting with the arm he touched.

The Japanese lady led us to a small table next to a koi pond and fountain. "I'll give you a few minuets, yes?" She had a friendly smile.

"Thanks, Tanoshimi-san," Inu-Yasha took the menus offered us.

"Your welcome, Shiro-san," she said in a cute Japanese accent. She smiled at me and disappeared into the back with her elegantly styled hair waving behind her.

Inu-Yasha handed me one of the menus but made no move to open his, "Kendo club is highly competitive." I stared at him stupidly for a moment before realizing that he was referring to our conversation out on the sidewalk.

"So you can't all be friends?"

"Something like that." He still didn't open his menu, devoting his whole attention to me. His gaze caressed my face like a physical touch.

"I guess archery is different then… because you are on a team."

He nodded, "Especially true for me."

"Why?" I leaned forward eagerly.

"I'm a challenger for the district Kendo championship title. It's a big deal for some people." He shrugged, still staring intently at me.

"Not you?"

He seemed to be debating how much to tell me when –

"Welcome to The Way of Seven Pillars Tea house. Are you ready to order?" A new voice interrupted our conversation.

"Oh… uhm well…" I started to try and stumble through an order when I found myself staring at the boy who had grabbed Sango's ass just a few days ago. "Hey!"

He blinked at me for a moment before his face broke into a smile. "You are one of Lady Sango's friends."

His smile was infectious, although it reminded me of a little boy who had just found a new play thing. "Yes, I am Kagome."

"Nice to meet you, Kagome-san. I am Miroku."

"Nice to meet you too, Miroku-san."

Inu-Yasha shifted in his chair drawing Moroku's attention to him. "We will have an order of Dragon Rolls and some green tea, please." He said the please through clenched teeth, like it hurt him to say it.

Miroku glanced at him before turning back to flash me a grin. "And for you?"

"We'll share." Inu-Yasha snapped.

"Alright." Miroku smiled at me again and held out his hand for the menus. It had a strange purple glove-like thing secured to his middle finger with a rosary wrapped around it. I handed him my menu mindlessly, staring at his wrist. When I looked at Inu-Yasha he seemed to be waiting for me to say something.

"I'm glad you saved me."

He blinked. "From…?"

"Making an idiot out of myself. Since you come here often it seems you know what's best on the menu." I smiled at him.

Some of the tension went out of his shoulders. "So… Did you work things out with your friend?" Inu-Yasha asked staring into my eyes.

I blushed, "I kind of told her to leave me alone for a while."

He cocked his head, some of his hair falling over his shoulder. I leaned forward and reached out to touch it. It reminded me of silk the way it shined. He flinched. "What?" He seemed to almost growl.

I pretended not to notice. "Do you dye your hair?" I asked as I pulled more over his shoulder.

He looked at me strangely, "No, it hereditary, from my father."

I ran my fingers through it, and just as I thought, it did felt like silk. It slid through my fingers so lightly it tickled and soothed at the same time. "Wow, that's cool."

"Whatever." he shrugged.

I was about to ask about his father when Miroku walked over with our Dragon Rolls.

"For the lovely lady…" He said, smiling at me and completely ignoring Inu-Yasha.

I smiled at him. "Thanks Miroku-san."

He gave me a mock solute and turned away.

I looked at the lightly browned rolls hungrily. Inu-Yasha didn't move and I realized he was waiting for my lead. I reached over eagerly and pulled one onto my plate. Inu-Yasha followed suit and did the same.

"Yum," I said, biting into a wrap. "Hot!" I gasped dropping the roll onto the plate.

Inu-Yasha smiled a little. "Animal, blow on it first."

I stuck my tongue out at him and then took his advice. "I really like these!"

"So what else do you like?" Inu-Yasha asked after a pause, stuffing half a Dragon roll in his mouth. I stared at him. He looked up, licking a piece of lettuce off his lips.

"What?"

"Was that… interest? And you are being really nice. Are you okay?"

"Keh. I'm fine." Inu-Yasha glared at me. "Why?"

I shrugged. "Everyone says that you are really mean."

"I let you come to my house the other night didn't I?" He snapped harshly. When I recoiled he closed his eyes and I watched in fascination as his taunt jaw muscles relaxed. When he opened his eyes, they were calm pools of amber. He stared at me a moment before continuing in a gentler voice, "Why do they say that?"

"Well… you aren't exactly the friendliest person." I mumbled.

Inu-Yasha looked at me thoughtfully for a moment. "Maybe people just aren't very friendly to me."

"Maybe they can tell you're keeping secrets." I said.

His eyes widened and he stuttered, "W-w-what s-s-secrets." His face turned crimson then deathly pale in a matter of seconds.

I realized that the stutter wasn't just nervousness, but an actual speech problem that just happen to appear.

He stood up abruptly. "S-s-sorry, I-I need to go t-to the b-bathroom," He said softly and then fled toward the back of the restaurant. I stared after him, wondering if he would come back.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

(I-pov)

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, hating what I saw. My face was deathly pale and I looked sick. I hadn't had a problem with my stutter for years. Suddenly, out of no where, I start stuttering again. Kagome… I was going to have to go back out there and I wasn't sure what she was going to do now. Laugh at me maybe… Leave? Maybe she was already gone.

I turned on the water and splashed it over my face. I looked up and took a deep breath. "K-k-kagome." I groaned. I was relapsing. "Damn!" I smirked at my reflection; that had come out right. "Just b-breathe."

I paced back and forth on the grimy tiles wondering what the hell I was supposed to do. Well, I couldn't stay in here forever.

Pushing open the swinging bathroom door and walked towards our table. Miroku was standing next to her and they were laughing. I clenched my fists and forced myself to walk towards them. Kagome looked up and smiled at me, a little tentatively I thought.

"Hey! Inu-Yasha-kun." She said.

Miroku turned around and I gave him my signature death glare, the one I usually reserve for my Kendo opponents. He backed away slowly as if he was about to encounter a crazed rabid animal. "See you later, Kagome-san."

"Bye Miroku-san," She answered cheerily. He waved and walked away. I sat down, avoiding her eyes.

"Are you ok?" She asked leaning forward to look at me.

I nodded.

Kagome shifted before speaking. "It's alright Inu-Yasha… My little brother, Souta, had speech problems."

I looked up at her, noting the slip and omission of the honourific, like I even fucking cared. "I b-bet he d-didn't s-s-stutter l-like this." My face got hotter with every word I messed up.

"No, but he lisped a little and couldn't pronounce r's or l's right." Kagome smiled a little. She reached out and touched my hand. I turned it over and she ran her fingertips up and down my palm. Her touch was soothing.

"I h-haven't h-had a problem in a long t-time," I muttered.

Kagome bit her lip. "Just take your time. And… uhm… I'm sorry I said that…"

"It's all right." Emboldened by my progress I continued, "You w-would laugh if I t-told you my s-s-secret." S's were by far the hardest sound for me to make.

"No... I won't." Kagome leaned forward, her hand still playing with mine. She paused after saying no to emphasize her point.

I looked away and then back at her upturned face, shining with happiness. I glanced at our hands. If she didn't care that I stuttered maybe she would understand other things… daemonic things. I pushed the thought away; no one in their right mind would accept the other things.

"I paint."

Kagome's hand tightened in mine. "Can I see?"

I stared at her. She was crazy. First she didn't make fun of me when I stuttered and then she was excited that I painted. Why the hell would she be excited? It's not that exciting.

"What's with you bitch?"

I could have happily cut out my tongue with a dull rusty knife after those words left my mouth. Her mouth dropped open in shock and she looked mad, cheeks tinged pink. Her scent spiked with anger. Way to go Yash! Just fucking shove her away why don't you?

I tightened my hand on hers, knowing that she would try to draw away. "Higurashi! I'm s-s-sorry."

Humans had made the term bitch disrespectful. It really was a term of endearment among the Inu-Youkai. I was slipping, letting myself get too comfortable with her. Her face softened as I stuttered out my apology.

"I'll show you s-some. Maybe tomorrow?"

"Ok…" She murmured as I weaved my fingers though hers, watching her face. Kagome seemed to be softening and her smile proved it.

"Walk you home?" I asked hoping she would say yes. I'm glad I didn't stutter when I said that even if it came out awkward.

She smiled at me. "That would be nice."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

(I-pov)

"Inu-Yasha?" my mom opened my door and stuck her head in.

"What?" I rolled over. I already knew this was about Kagome.

She came all the way into my room and sat down on one of my chairs. "Where did you go with Kagome?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, "To eat an after school snack." I answered knowing where this was going. I ran my hands through my hair and sat up. "Why?"

"You- you never liked girls before… are you… does she…?" She was trying hard not to just come out and say what she really wanted to say. She doesn't need to act like she's touching a fucking boil when we talk about my daemon half.

"No, she is not a daemon hunter. No, she doesn't know about the ears, fangs, or claws. No, she isn't a whore! Anything else?" I snapped.

"Inu-Yasha!" I could tell she didn't like my tone of voice, but I didn't care.

"Why can't you just accept that maybe she is my friend?" I was angry. "Is it just too weird that someone could actually like me for me?" I stood up, my rage growing. "This is because I am different isn't it! You are worried that she'll find out and hate me and I'll…" What could I do? "…go off in a rage and hurt her! That's it isn't it!" I paced my blood boiling, yet somehow more hurt than I was angry.

"Yash, that's part of it yes- I don't want you hurt by a thoughtless girl." She picked up my sword calmly and handed it to me. I felt my rage dissipate. "But what did you talk about? It's hard to imagine you being in a conversation for more than two minutes with out offending someone." She said it lightly but she was right… again.

I sat down on the edge of my bed and sighed. "She wasn't offended too much. She smells good." I closed my eyes, bringing to mind Kagome's scent. "I… I want to be her friend…"

Kaede sat down next to me and rubbed her small hand across my back. "If you want to have a lasting relationship with her you have to tell her the truth."

I let my head slide down to rest on her shoulder. "I know, I can't though! There isn't any point in it. Just a lot more pain and…" I trailed off annoyed with my own inability to express it into words. "She can't ever find out. She would hate me."

"Yash, I know you feel that way but what is the real problem?"

"I don't want her to know I am different…" I whispered, I couldn't deal with the anger and fear I knew she would feel if she found out my dark secret.

Kaede ran her fingers through my hair soothing me. "The closer you get to her, the closer she comes to finding out." Kaede's voice was soft, I knew she wasn't trying to hurt me but he words stung.

"I know…" I murmured, "But I don't want… I can't stop myself." I didn't even want to try to separate us.

I think I knew that I was falling in love with Kagome then. I think I knew that I should end it now before it was too late and Kagome got hurt by me and my past. I think I knew somewhere in the rational human part of my heart that our relationship was doomed before it even started. Being with her and knowing I was consciously deceiving her about who and what I am was a bittersweet pleasure.

And I couldn't stop, not now.

((A/N: Awww! Fluff! BTW: The Smashing Pumpkins song is: "Shame" from the Adore album I give them all credit so don't sue. ;-) So I finnaly got my ass around to finishing this chapter. Thank you Petpeeves12 for cramming this into your schedule and thank you to sono.obake for all the nice reviews! You will help me reach my goal!))


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